Advice
Parental Quandary
Parenting is tough, and sometimes crowd-sourcing helps. Periodically, we pose a question to the Motherlode community. When the topic strikes a chord, we gather the best responses the following week. Got a quandary? E-mail KJ ?.
A future stepparent writes in with a quandary ? or at least, a request for been-there-done-that advice. I?ve paraphrased the e-mail somewhat to protect anonymity (no details have been changed; only removed):
I?m engaged to a great person, with an 11-year-old from a previous marriage. I have a great relationship with the daughter, and get along well with the other parent in the story as well (I know ? we?re lucky).
I know the journey we are about to embark is going to be filled with its ups and downs, especially as I navigate the terrain of being a stepparent and feeling out where I ?belong? in this family. Perhaps an added complication is that I don?t have any biological children, but my future spouse and I plan to start a family once we have a year of marriage under our belt.
I don?t have any friends who are in the same boat as I am so I don?t have anyone I can really confide in, and much of what I read online is frankly discouraging.
I?d appreciate any advice from those who have successfully navigated this difficult territory. I know I?m not the child?s parent, and I will never try to be. I will try to strike a balance between loving her and biting my tongue. The most difficult thing for me is trying to address these nagging insecurities I have ? feelings that I?ll never fit in or that nobody will understand what it?s like to be in my shoes.
Readers, stepparents, and parents on any side of a divorce, any advice for the writer? How does a stepparent get off on the right foot, and stay there?
Source: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/01/advice-to-help-a-step-parent-start-strong/
pregnant jessica simpson international womens day joe the plumber lra lra eric johnson eric johnson
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